By Pamela Jennings Taylor

Do children come with instructions?  How can I be the best mother for my children so they will grow up as godly, contributing adults who make wise decisions and influence others in a positive way? While doing this, how can I also keep my sanity and fulfill God’s purpose for my own life? 

My answer is this: we parent our young children with the understanding that the primary goal is mentoring them as teens and young adults.  There must be a shift to this next phase of “mommy-ing”, and prayerfully, a smooth one.

Here are some keys to make a smooth transition:

Use teachable moments to your advantage.

Take advantage of their mess-ups!  Do this when the bad decisions are aggravating and maybe costly, but not life-threatening or life-altering. Choose the most opportune teaching moments; however, be mindful not to beat them down for every mistake. Involve them in the discussion and follow through with whatever reasonable consequences you determine are appropriate.

Critical thinking skills are key.

When you are teaching your children, instruct them on critical thinking and consequences.  Practically, walk them through scenarios and potential outcomes so they will learn to navigate through them before they act.  

Parents need support.

Establish a trustworthy set of friends (a posse)—a solid support system.  You…will…need…them! The journey of mothering requires your emotional health and having a set of friends who know, care about, and support you, is crucial.

Follow the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Deep down, when you sit quietly and away from outside chatter, you will have a “knowing” of what to do when mentoring your children and young adults.  What if you miss it?  Try again tomorrow.  Walking with and hearing from God is ongoing.

Follow the peace and not the guilt.

This is a fine line for moms.  We should not feel guilty if we miss it at times. We base decisions on information we know at that moment and listen the best we can for the direction that God is leading us. Pray for guidance, receive God’s peace, and let yourself off the hook. 

Allow your children to practice life skills.

Give them life skills to practice.  Talk them through each skill, even letting them practice with or demonstrate to you.  When they are ready for the training wheels to come off, they may be wobbly at first, but the skills are there. 

Give it your best shot and then rest in God.  

When you sit down quietly and reflect, give yourself credit for doing what you knew to do, had the resources and the resolve to do, and what you honestly believe you were led by God to do.  Then, take a deep breath…and rest.

Parenting is only a piece of God’s ultimate plan for your life.

It is freedom time!  Moms have often pushed many personal plans to the side.  Even if we have accomplished some of our goals simultaneously while raising our children, there is SO MUCH MORE that we have to offer the world.  Go for it!

As we walk through our journey, be assured that God sees us.  He sees our desires and our efforts.  Transitioning to the new phase of mentoring as our children mature is by God’s design; therefore, He will give us all the guidance and instructions to accomplish it.  Parenting is only a piece of God’s ultimate plan for your life, so make mentoring your primary goal.

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