Alright, Sis, let’s talk ‘about love and sacrifice, as we know it in the Caribbean. We hear it all the time—“Real love requires sacrifice.” But does it really? Or is that just something we’ve been conditioned to believe? Is love about giving until you have nothing left, or should it be a balance of give and take? We see it all around us, from our mamas to our aunties, even our friends. They sacrifice a lot – time, dreams, even the last piece of sweet potato pudding! Is that what love has to be?

Now, nobody can tell you love doesn’t involve sacrifice. It does. Sometimes you have to give up a bit of your “me time” to help your child with homework. Sometimes you have to hold your tongue when your man does something that upsets you because you know peace in the house is worth more than a quick argument. Sometimes, you might even have to put your dreams on hold for a while, especially when family calls. That’s real life.

But listen, love shouldn’t be only sacrifice. It can’t be one-sided. You can’t be the only one giving and giving until you empty. That ain’t love, that’s martyrdom! Love is supposed to be a two-way street. It is supposed to lift you, not drag you down. It is supposed to make you feel stronger, not weaker.

Think about it: When you truly love someone, you want to do things for them. It doesn’t feel like a burden. It feels natural, like breathing. You want to see them happy, you want to support them. And if they love you back, they’ll want to do the same for you. That’s the balance.

Healthy sacrifice is choosing to make compromises that don’t strip you of your essence—perhaps waking up earlier to make your partner’s favorite breakfast or moving to a new city together for a shared dream. Toxic sacrifice, on the other hand, happens when you consistently put someone else’s happiness above your own, leading to resentment, exhaustion, or loss of self.

Red flags of toxic sacrifice include:

• Feeling drained and unappreciated.
• Consistently prioritizing your partner’s needs over your own.
• Losing sight of your goals, passions, and identity.

True love should not demand that you diminish yourself to keep it alive.

So, yes, love has sacrifice. But it also has joy, laughter, support, and understanding. It has respect, trust, and communication. It has compromise, not just giving in. It has growth, both together and as individuals.

Don’t let anybody tell you to sacrifice your whole self for love. Your happiness matters. Your dreams matter. Your well-being matters. Love should enhance your life, not consume it. If it doesn’t, then something isn’t right.

Remember your worth, Sis!

You deserve a love that’s sweet, strong, and balanced, just like a good sorrel drink. And that includes a little sacrifice, yes, but also a whole heap of joy. Don’t settle for less.

Share your thoughts on the topic, would love to hear from you!

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