In today’s world, finding a partner who aligns with your values can feel like a challenge—especially for a single Black woman with a busy career, or the responsibilities of motherhood etc. TheBeyondWoman was privy to a few stories and the exasperation that women shared on their journey to finding Mr Right. For many, dating in a fast-paced world like ours often lacks depth and commitment and can be tiring and even disappointing. But surprise, surprise, rather than feeling pressured to settle, a few women are embracing abstinence as a way to take back their power, protect their peace,
Hear from these five women as they share why abstinence is a choice that can make sense in today’s dating landscape and how it offers single Black women an empowering path toward self-love, clarity, and authentic connection:
Marcia: A Time to Reconnect with Yourself
When life is full—whether with career goals, raising children, or personal growth—it’s easy to get caught up in fulfilling everyone’s needs but your own. Abstinence creates space so I get to focus inward, rediscovering the unique qualities and values that make me who I am. Without the distractions of dating or relationship pressures, I have time to align with what I want from a partnership and define what happiness looks like for me as an individual.
This time for self-reflection is essential and gives me a chance to put myself first, exploring what brings me joy and fulfillment apart from anyone else. Abstinence is not easy but it brings me peace, and that Sis is priceless!
Michelle: Setting Boundaries and Recognizing Your Worth
In today’s dating world, finding someone who values respect, patience, and commitment can feel like finding a needle in a haystack. For me, as a single Black woman who knows what I bring to the table, abstinence becomes a way for me to set boundaries. It’s a choice that I exercise that says I am not willing to settle for less than I deserve, and it sets a standard for the type of relationship I am looking for. By choosing abstinence, I have a filter that screens out those who are not aligned with my values. This boundary ensures that anyone who chooses to be in my life truly respects me and shares my commitment to having meaningful connections.
Sue: Protecting Your Peace in a Fast-Paced World
Dating can sometimes feel like an emotional roller coaster, especially when the values and intentions of others don’t match your own. While balancing work, family, or personal aspirations, I don’t need the added stress of relationships that drain rather than uplift me. Abstinence offers a way to protect my peace, keeping my focus on what I want and need, rather than constantly navigating the expectations of others.
It’s also a way for me to guard my emotional well-being, giving me the chance to recharge, refocus, and keep my heart centered on my goals without unnecessary distractions. When the right person comes along, they’ll recognize and appreciate this focus of mine rather than disrupt it.
Chrissy: Cultivating Spiritual and Emotional Growth
For many single Black women, abstinence becomes a foundation for spiritual and emotional growth, allowing us to strengthen our relationship with ourselves and God. The journey of abstinence can be deeply rewarding, it provides me time to meditate, reflect, and realign my actions with my core beliefs.
In a world where pressure to “keep up” can be overwhelming, choosing abstinence can be an act of grounding. It’s a way for me to stand firm in my values and let go of the need for external validation, something i battled with constantly. The result: My sense of purpose is strengthened as well as I have newfound patience as I wait for someone who genuinely aligns with me. It’s worth it Sis, believe me.
Gail: Controlling Your Own Narrative
Choosing abstinence is also about taking control of your life and your story. I feel that as a Black woman, the world often projects expectations or stereotypes about who we should be. But with abstinence, I get to decide the pace and focus of my life, centering my own journey rather than conforming to anyone’s ideals. It is not a rejection of relationships but rather a commitment to a certain quality of life and partnership. It’s a bold way of me saying that I value myself enough to wait for someone who sees my worth. It is a choice that empowers me as I set the terms of my future relationship, ensuring it aligns with the love, respect, and values I deserve.
The point is: Choosing abstinence doesn’t mean giving up on love; it means redefining love on your terms. By focusing on self-discovery, peace, and values, women lay the foundation for a relationship that enhances their life, rather than detracting from it.
So whether you’re waiting for Mr. Right, or focusing on your growth, remember that your journey is unique, powerful, and worth every moment of patience.
If you’re a single Black woman choosing abstinence, know that you’re making a choice that honors your worth. It’s a decision that’s not only empowering but also a way to cultivate the life, peace, and purpose you deserve.
We invite you to share your thoughts on the above, leave us a comment below!
WE INVITE YOU TO READ OUR MAGAZINES
Click Below
