Now that we have heard the terms, ‘strong black woman and ‘strong woman’ over and over, They seem to go with each other like peanut butter and jelly, don’t they? We know women are strong, something that we must be. 

This strength comes as a result of us being the incubators, house to the seed of each generation; through pain and toil, we give birth and replenish the population. A woman wears many hats and juggles responsibilities better than anyone. She can be a provider and caregiver in a household devoid of a male presence, and the list goes on. A woman has no choice but to be strong; because strength is needed to navigate the hurdles and obstacles that life produces that she will encounter; but what is the true strength of a woman?

As I ponder this question, I can’t help but think about the great Maya Angelou and her famous poem ‘Phenomenal Woman, a favourite of mine. How she describes not only the curves but the wit and presence of a woman is true art. Phenomenal Woman has shown me that women are many things, and they all intertwine to reveal her true beauty. Admittedly, as women, we have been taught a lot of things that though celebrated now, can be detrimental to us in the long run. One of which is the very definition of being a ‘strong woman’. I can speak at least for my generation that the strength of a woman is not a question but something that is applied, it is an expectation from society and other women. Women are taught to bear the burden and carry the pain, all while conquering the world; she is not expected to complain but to be strong through the aches, the abuses, the undermining, and other hurdles society and history have thrown her way. Only recently has the importance of a woman’s voice and her well-being been highlighted, and the fact that archaic generational and cultural norms have contributed to a decline in our mental health and well-being. And the fact that women will not experience true well-being until we change some of the narratives. Now we see that strength can look like different things.

I have found that strength does not solely have to be in the ‘conquering’, but it can be in the resting, restoration, and a woman’s season of rehabilitation.

It is great to do everything, but it should not be a prerequisite to exhibit ‘strength,’ A woman who finds balance and peace and freedom on her life journey is a strong woman. Balance is so important to any human being, and like the equilibrium that is life, women need this to be healthy and strong. Taking care of yourself as a wife, mother, boss, etc is true strength. There is strength in restraint and choosing yourself; WOMEN NEED TO DO MORE OF THAT—therein lies true empowerment.

A woman climbing the ladder of success will be applauded, but the minute she decides to stop (for whatever reason), others may see her as slowing down. Never let the opinions of others influence your decision; there is strength in knowing when to stop, when to say no, when to put your phone down, and have a day to yourself and when to just be. Strength is not in pushing with blisters and bruises on your heel, trying to accomplish the next thing (for the next person); it is in checking yourself and knowing that you need to be OK too and if you need to pause—then pause.

The true strength of a woman is in us continuing on the journey of finding ourselves and what works for us. We are strong because we now know the value of caring for ourselves; we know that we can conquer the world if we want to, but on our terms and with our health and well-being as a part of the equation. Our strength lies in saying no to the things that are not for us and walking away from so-called opportunities that may threaten our peace, yet still being successful in integrity, grace, and class.

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