written by Sandra Charite
I grew up in a household full of women, so I can tell you that I believe in sisterhood. We did not agree on everything, but we shared a bond of sisterhood that was unbreakable. As I got older, females were my foes—not friends. It was difficult to trust so-called “friends” and establish genuine, authentic relationships with them. When I came to God, I thought it would be a little easier, and at some point, it appeared so. Unfortunately, it has been hard to find genuine Godly sisters in the church. What happened to the Godly sisterhood?
First, let me establish a clear picture of what I’m talking about; what does it mean to be a Godly sister? To me, they are women after God’s own heart and who care about your soul. They seek God on your behalf and have good things to say about you. When they don’t, instead of broadcasting your sensitive, personal information to the world, they use discretion. In a time when women need emotional and spiritual support, a Godly Sister should be transparent with another sister about her shortcomings and unite in their brokenness while encouraging each
other to be better.
Yet, let us be honest, a Godly sister is not perfect, for we all have flaws; however, she is separated from the world as she continues to inspire you to keep doing what God has called you to do, even when you feel discouraged. She sees greatness in you and does what she can to propel you forward; as women of God, we need divinely-ordained, healthy, and uplifting relationships among ourselves. According to a recent survey, women make up close to 70 percent of the population in the church, so the lack of sisterhood saddens me. Within the church climate, there is a nasty breed of mean girls that puts the ordinary middle school variety to shame. If only we knew the power we are endowed with, each time we are gathered as a united front before God, encouraging, praying, and building our fellow sisters up should be our watchwords. I believe that the church should be a refuge to the broken, hurting, and lost, and a place where people can witness the love of God.
Imagine if the woman at the well (John 4:4–26) had a group of sisters who she could turn to while she was struggling; or, imagine if we had a sisterhood like Mary and Elizabeth (Luke 1:39-56).
Two women—one young, one much older, and God in His amazing wisdom, grace, and mercy, placed these two women together; they did not judge each other for their shortcoming, or whose season was easier but, they were a help rather than a hurt to each other. Mary had a peculiar situation that was uncommon to man. She was a pregnant virgin, but God provided an older woman who was pregnant also, with a miracle baby, to be the safe place for Mary. In those three months Mary spent with Elizabeth, she poured into her life, encouraged, strengthened her faith, and invested deeply into her. These two had plenty of coffee moments, but it was not an opportunity for Elizabeth to obtain all her business to gossip to the neighbors about it—women, we need each other!
What scares me the most is Sunday after Sunday (pre-or post-pandemic), women are flocking to the church only to be comforted by the mean girls. Her dress is too short, her hairstyle is outdated, ain’t got on the right shoes to match the outfit, or I know her past, and she doesn’t belong here. Where is the sisterhood? Who wants to be in a place where you are outcasted and torn down, instead of uplifted and motivated to walk closer to God?
Some of the most hurtful and painful things said to me as a woman in ministry has been from women, I feel like we have “mini Peninnahs” just sitting around haunting Hannah. Peninnah (1 Samuel 1:2-20) had children, and Hannah was barren, which meant unable to conceive a child. Hannah was Elkanah’s first wife; after they had been married for ten years, Hannah bore him no children, so he took Peninnah as a wife. Peninnah knew Hannah’s bareness, so she taunted her cruelly, rubbing it in her face and never letting her forget that God had not given her children; this was not sisterhood. Sisterhood is not about judging but helping one another grow spiritually.
Fortunately, God later remembered Hannah, and she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, which meant “I asked God for him.” I am often concerned about the “Saint Judy’s” and “Saint Tasha’s”, the ones who God delivers from their struggles, but they come back and tear down their sisters who are struggling with the same issues. God delivers us so we can use our testimony to help someone else. If you find yourself weak, struggling, or you may stumble, as we all do, be a Godly sister—she is patient, kind, understanding, and willing to lend a hand to help you get back up. A Godly sister is not divisive, catty, gossiping, or competitive. She sees the importance of women supporting other women.
Sadly, I feel like we have adopted so much of the worldview on things that we have lost sight of God’s nature and His love. Even if the world is mean, the church should maintain God’s love. “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you” (James 1:27). We must do better. Women make up a significant portion of the church, so let us join together to become our sister’s keeper.
