Alright, so here is the thing, this is not a favourite topic for many, but I do believe we must have a discussion here rather than avoidance. How will we begin to move forward without facing a few hurdles, accept them, then choose to change or do better. The person who is unwilling to face their challenges, admit to them, embrace constructive suggestions and then implement will always remain stuck. Not only will they be stuck, but the energy surrounding that person because of their own discomfort will become a repellant to others. Think Squidward on SpongeBob Square pants—although I loved him.
So let’s go.
Our inability to forget:
Develop insomnia or go home. Many women fail because of holding on to past mistakes. I am searching for the reason why we do hold on when we have a beautiful future ahead of us. I guess it’s just one of the nuances of being human, or it is a learned way of experiencing life. Whatever it is, can we agree at this moment that holding on to the past in no way fosters success in our lives? For women to achieve their goals, they must push beyond the limits of the past. A past that does not have to be all negative but possesses some amount of success. The tragedy is this, holding on to those singular successes limits us, causing us to think there is nothing more to attain. After all, ‘we have arrived’.
This takes me to the next point:
Lack Of Humility:
Some time ago, while pursuing my MBA and having to use case studies to develop arguments or support a perspective on a particular topic, I was introduced to Sir Richard Branson and Virgin Atlantic. His life epitomised one of humility, and as I got familiar with his leadership style, I could only conclude that humility is a game-changer in succeeding in life. Many of us believe that when we get to a certain level or attain an “important” status, so to speak, we are made. We know everything and do not need support or feedback. This stance is a sure way of falling flat from the successful climb. I want to share that we do not know everything, and we will never know everything. We may have a hang of how to do some things, or rather, we may become experts in a particular area; while this is great, we must remember that there is someone else with a complementary skill set that you will need at some point. When we choose to admit that we do not know everything, then elevate the expertise of others, and foster a team spirit, we are likely to achieve more. We pull others to us rather than repel them. Who gets to succeed by themselves anyway?
The Comparison Game:
Call it cliche if you must, but like I always say, most cliches or the things we are tired of hearing or just do not want to accept and have relegated to cliche status are just the truth. Let us talk about social media for a minute; I believe here is where lots of comparisons take place. We must begin to find a way to use social media to our advantage rather than waste away looking at the false images and lifestyles shown there. Hey, I’m on social media and will admit that when I choose to put something out, I will put out the best, not to make another person feel inadequate and not to falsely represent who I am, but still the best of me. At the end of the day, you will not get to see my struggles if I choose to not share, but I do have some.
Get the point?
Let us stop comparing ourselves on social media or otherwise. Choosing to exit the comparison game frees us up for activities and actions that add value to our lives. We give ourselves a chance to be grateful for the countless blessings and opportunities that may be passing us by because we are searching for something else. The other thing is, just be you and the best you, understand your limitations, understand your strengths. Maximize the areas you are strong in and improve on the others if you can. Finally, you have your race to run, and try as you might, you cannot run someone else’s race, only yours.
No Man, Woman in our case Is An Island:
This one is a bit personal for me because the truth is, I am just a major introvert. And it is weird because if you get me in a conversation, I can out-talk you depending on the subject. I know many women will identify with this but, we must recognise that we are at a greater risk of failing if we try to do life alone. We must build our network and have conversations with persons who can help us get to where we are going. We must seek advice from others who are where we are trying to get to..another cliche for the books ladies.
There was also a time I may have been accused of being exclusive rather than inclusive with my processes and how I go about doing what I do. This was the furthest thing from the truth; it was instead my inability to ask for help, something that many of us may suffer from. The moment I got out of that space was the moment I began to grow and exceed my expectations. Crawl out of the protective shell, embrace others and see the difference it will bring to your life!
Lack of Faith:
I was recently blessed to hear a well-known pastor preach on faith and that some of us have different levels of it. He mentioned that our faith is tied to what we believe is possible in the physical and the possibility of it happening (my interpretation). For example, we need to pay a utility bill, but not enough cash and so we have enough faith that would cause that to happen. However, if we needed the faith required to facilitate a bigger and harder—to—fathom situation such as debt eradication and let us assume one-million-dollar of debt forgiveness, it becomes a tad harder for some of us to exercise the required faith. In other words, we have big faith and little faith. For our lives to be successful our faith must not be conditional. We must be in a space where we believe that all we are working towards will succeed without hesitation.
Allow me to also add that when I speak about faith, I am not suggesting that we sit back and expect faith to work on our behalf. Let me share how faith works or how faith works for me. When I position myself to believe and exercise my faith towards a situation, I know that the God I serve enables my actions and my expression of faith to cause things or people to work in my favour. So I do the work and expect that what I need to happen will.
Faith allows you to move when you do not want to. Faith expedites thoughts and ideas to support what you want to happen. And faith gives you a posture of expectation and readiness. Viewing your life in this manner empowers you towards actions that will bring you success. If you are not exercising faith, then you are welcoming failure. I encourage you to live your life in a faith way and look out for success. It is coming!
So I have shared my thoughts on reasons why we may fail. Now it is time to recap and reinforce ways to succeed. We succeed when we appreciate the 5 points stated above and willingly put the cap on our head if it fits, then choose to do the opposite.
Forget about the past and look to the future that holds an abundance of opportunities.
Identify those opportunities and take hold of them, allowing them to become a part of your story. Holding on to the past blinds us, so, we must let go and begin to see clearly.
Humbly recognise that you become powerful when you allow the input of others’ thoughts and ideas to flow to the creative process. This will create a variety that will increase the scope, output, and ultimately the success of your endeavors.
Let go of comparison, embrace your uniqueness and run your race the only way you can. And while you do that, remember you need people to succeed. I recently watched an episode of FLASH where one of the characters got a glimpse into her future if she was to take a particular path. The glimpse showed her a world where she would be the only inhabitant—she kept repeating “this is worse than being dead”.
Get the drift?
We are not meant to be alone; we need people. Remember that as you go through life, success will be yours; once you choose success. Believe in your ability, and believe in all that you are called to do. Your belief, alongside the Providence of God, through faith, will make it happen, and do not be surprised when it does. Understand that things happen when they are supposed to.
Beyond women, it is always my desire to see all of us win in the spaces we occupy, and we will when we choose to win.
So there you have it, it is a choice, and once we choose to be winners, all doors and opportunities to WIN will open to us. If you need to win in life, think about these things, then put them into practice and watch for the changes that will become very present and visible.
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Talk soon—Jacqueline
