She doesn’t look anything like what she has been through. She has a beautiful and strong countenance which suggests “listen!… there is absolutely nothing that can get me off course.” But underneath that strong exterior, life reminds her that she is human and one who will experience weakness even when she feels strong. She is an example to women everywhere that joy can be present during great trials, but we do not have to look like what we are going through or have gone through on our journey.
Meet Simone Bloomfield-Hodges Teacher and Breast cancer survivor.
Of course, my first question to her was “how do you do it”? Meaning, how does one maintain a joyful presence and go through a challenging period that demands great emotional discipline while teaching demanding kids. Whether we believe it or not, teachers do not just teach, they do so much more. They are parents to our children on many different levels. They are their confidants. I know! My mother was a teacher. Her response was very candid – and went something like this, “I cannot allow something unworthy of my essence to define me”.
Explained in her own words –
When I found out, I possibly had breast cancer, I got busy, I became proactive, and I did not assume anything. I made the appointment to go to the doctor; it was better to know. I remember when I told my mom her response was, I hope it is not anything, to which I immediately cut her short and said “if it is, we will deal with it”.
Upon visiting her doctor, she was told to do an ultrasound, since the mammogram she had previously done was cleared and showed nothing. There were absolutely no signs of cancer on the mammogram.
“It was during the ultrasound scan that I knew, the radiologist in the middle of the scan removed his glove and left the room without saying anything. It was further cemented when he came back and his first question without saying anything else was, how old did you say you were again”? “I left Jamaica for two weeks after that. I had to, I needed the break from all that was happening, and it was an opportune time while the results were being finalised”.
I sat still, enamored by her fearlessness, it got to the point where I felt like I needed to get real with Simone. I wanted a genuine feel of what was taking place in her mind during this suspicious point, as she watched the doctor’s reaction – fearing the dreaded news she may hear. At age 40 with two girls, one almost a young adult, and the other a teenager, what was going through her mind? Was there any denial? Because of her constant upbeat disposition, I needed to know.
“To be honest, I think at this point, there was some denial, needing to shut this down. There was also a matter-of-fact kind of feeling after I came back and had the doctor confirm what I already knew. But even with the confirmation, I still did not feel any emotions- maybe I was numb. However, after I left the doctor’s office and got home, I bawled for the entire day. Reality hit me, and it was hard…I had breast cancer and it was hard trying to be my usual strong self. There was no sign of this coming, no one in my family that I know of had breast cancer or gone through cancer. There were other things, hypertension, and glaucoma; there was other stuff, but, nothing like this”.
How did the family react? ”My Mother took it harder than anyone else. I did not say anything to my daughters immediately, mostly because of my emotional state, as well as, because I just did not know how to. I had to work on my mother and have her pull back some of the negative emotions that were on full display. I understood how she felt, and I knew that it was mainly out of fear and immense concern on her part. It took me two days to compose myself, but I did”.
The Surgery—This part of the journey was very overwhelming. I thought I had time to digest all of what was happening. I was quickly brought back to reality when my doctor wanted to schedule the surgery immediately, I am talking within days. I told him no, I needed some time. This was in February, so I was thinking in the summertime I could (laughing). He quickly informed me no more than 3 weeks. During this time, I began to read and educate myself, I am not sure this was a good idea because the information I found on breast cancer was overwhelming- some of it was doom and gloom, you are going to die”.
On the Spiritual side—“I spoke with persons I knew who were strong spiritually, and the support I got was more than I could have hoped for. It was all positive. I remember a friend of mine saying, ‘you will be okay, and I hung on to that. My faith in God played a huge part in this part of my journey, and the most potent realisation came through to me—that God places people in our lives for different reasons. Some of the people who gave me support were never in my life before, and they were my strongest towers. My takeaway is not to look for angels anywhere but right before me. God put people around us to be there for us when we need them, and this was demonstrated in so many ways. Teachers, parents including male parents, friends et al especially people who I did not know”.
The Human Side—After my surgery, I would go to a particular pharmacy to get my chemotherapy medication. Every time I visited this particular pharmacy I felt depressed, and I would usually cry (I no longer go, I now send for those drugs). Once I was there feeling overwhelmed, a lady came up to me, I think she was also going through the same thing. I also believe she identified with me because I opted to be fashionably bald (laughing) rather than wear a wig. So this lady comes up to me perhaps because she sees my emotional state, and she says ‘you are going to be fine. Oh my goodness, the tears started flowing like a river. I could not help myself. I think I needed that cleansing. It was okay, and it made me stronger”.
As we come to a close, I had to get some last-minute takeaways from Simone specifically for women who are experiencing breast cancer and those who fear going through this disease.
Evolve – Understand that this experience will birth a new you. I had locs down to my waist, and I had to cut it all off, I remember my hairdresser telling me not to worry because when my hair grows back, she can re-attach the old locks. I had to say why, that was the old me, and it is all gone, this is the new me, and I am accepting it. I embraced every aspect of the journey to where I am today. Accept the new you, work with the new you and most importantly love the new you.
Yield – “There have been so many lessons; one of which is to leave things to God, to genuinely leave it. If I have done all I can and whatever is to be done is not in my control, I cannot, and I should not worry about it”.
Faith – Sometimes it’s hard to make ends meet, and the bills are piling up and I just say okay girls, if you are watching television and the cable goes off, I did not pay the bill, and my girls understand.
Take care of yourself first – They say you do not know how strong you are until you are forced to be! While I consider myself a strong woman, this thing that has happened made me realize I was being strong for others. When you are forced into being strong for yourself, it becomes difficult. When I found out, I immediately thought about my kids, and I began to worry. Someone gave me a no-nonsense wake-up call that made me realize that if I take care of myself, then everything and everyone will be okay. I began the journey of being strong for myself. Similarly, when you are in an airplane, and they begin the safety checks they tell you to take care of yourself first, then someone else. I had to do that”.
Two things I discovered while interviewing Simone.
Her weakness: I have so many (laughing), I love food, but one of the things I had to put aside is sugar, I am a sugar junkie, and it has been hard (I cheat sometimes). My midnight snack is usually something sweet. I love donuts.
Her favorite color and why: I love purple – it has always meant strength to me. The people around me that I identify with, for some reason, bring a particular kind of energy into my space. These are the people who I consider to be my strength, and when I think about them, I often associate them with the color purple.
Read stories of other women who have survived breast cancer HERE
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