By Sandra Charite
It’s been 17 years since my mom transitioned after her battle with cancer. I still remember the day and time and exactly what I was wearing. If I have to be honest, somedays, I wish I could forget so it wouldn’t all be real anymore. But honestly, breast cancer scares me.
I know what you are thinking; how can you be a Christian and be afraid of sickness? Don’t you know the Bible said, “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” (1 Peter 2:24).
I’ve known so many women who have had breast cancer — friends and neighbors, coworkers, relatives. And, every time I hear someone battling the sickness or lost a loved one from breast cancer, there is a fear that tries to paralyze me. I am always being reminded to make sure I check my boobies because my family has a history of breast cancer. I dread that one day the doctor might feel that lump in my breast or I’ll get that call from my doctor’s office after having a mammogram.
I must admit that in the beginning, when I learned of my mom’s cancer, I was in denial. At the time, I was a new Christian or “baby in Christ,” and I was obsessed with God’s ability to heal his children. I knew that God would not allow his children to suffer. In time, I became overly deep in my faith and had excessive intercessory prayer on my mom’s behalf. I was holding God at his word and promises from the bible. I felt he owed me my mom, and if he took her away, he would not be a man of his word. That day on August 20, 2004, my faith was tested. I watched my mom take her last breath. I felt the presence of God confront me, but I ignored Him because the very thing I wanted and needed was not given to me. Years to follow came with a lot of rebellion until I realized that God would never leave my side no matter how much I pushed him away.
But, breast cancer is still a scar that I can’t remove. The illness petrifies me when I hear about friends and family battling the disease. I want to be optimistic that they will overcome, but sometimes pessimism takes over. Having heard stories of people who have done chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery and still died from the disease increases my fear of breast cancer because you never what journey it’s going to take you. Everyone’s case is different. Early detection is usually the best detection but reading statistic that says, Black women were 43% more likely to die of breast cancer than White women, does not comfort me at all. I want to be hopeful and believe in God’s healing power.
Ultimately, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). He is an intentional God who knows the journeys we will take and the battles we will fight. I had to remind myself that the breast cancer that runs in my family can be broken by God because in the word “impossible”, it says “I’m possible.” He is the same God who knows my tomorrow.
In the meantime, we must do our part as this body is on loan to us. We have to take care of our bodies by eating right and keeping up with our doctor visits. Be honest with your doctor about any changes in your body. While in the shower, do morning checks of your breast. And, don’t let go of God’s unchanging hands. Most importantly, pray that God would remove the fears and help you to see things clearly.
Sandra Charite
Sandra is a former journalist of The Miami Times newspaper. A worshipper at heart, Sandra is devoted to ministry and serving God to the fullest. Sandra’s first published book, Broken Crayons Still Color, was released in 2016. She poured out her soul in a series of poems and stories. Then, she released her second book of poems, Picking Up My Pearls from the Altar. Each of her books invokes a mature level of transparency.SAVE THE DATE
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