Why did I take him back is probably a question of regret many women have asked themselves or their girlfriends have of them. We remember the previous relationship, and we recall what lead to the downfall. Fortunately or unfortunately, some of us find ourselves succumbing to the charms of our exes one more time for different reasons. Nine times out of ten, it ends up not working out—again.
How can women save themselves from this heartache? By examining the reasons why they go back in the first place. Let us look at four reasons why women go back to their exes.
The Comfort Zone Syndrome
Believe it or not, the comfort zone syndrome is not just for that job you will not leave because you fear following your dreams. Neither is it that friendship you refuse to let go of even though it is toxic because you have been through too much together to let go. We do have a similar experience in our romantic relationships. Let us blame it on the comfort zone syndrome—going back to or sticking to what is familiar due to fear of opening ourselves to the unfamiliar. Many women return to their exes because they ‘know’ them; as the saying goes in Jamaica, “stick to the evil that you know.” This ‘evil’ is familiar territory, and they believe they can ‘handle it’. This person also knows them, and they can avoid the toil of getting to know someone new. Many times the reason the relationship did not work out the first time becomes the reason it does not work the second, third, or for some the fourth time around. The fact is if nothing changes, then nothing changes.
The Fear Factor
Listen! Dating is hard, and getting your heart broken time and time again is hard. Another reason women return to their Ex is that they are too afraid to start a new relationship. They are fearful of venturing out there again, open their hearts with the ever-daunting possibility that they would end up right back at square one in a few short months. This fear has robbed so many women of the opportunity to find love. It has convinced many that a good relationship does not exist. They then choose to go back to their ex and tolerate whatever is handed to them to have someone and not be alone.
The Grass is not greener on the other side.
Ok, so we will not be all negative here; some women return to their ex because they realize that this was their person, flaws and all. Sometimes it takes seeing what you do not want to appreciate what you do want or already have. If that is the case, then more power to you ladies! Relationships can end prematurely over the simplest of things; they sometimes end without either party giving it a fighting chance. Another argument in favor of staying or returning is that the dating pool is shallow. So if you know you have found something good, do not let it go.
Family Matters
One of the most popular reasons for going back to an ex that I have heard is because of family, that is, they had a child or children with that partner and are trying to make things work. Sometimes these relationships fall apart because the love left—but persons stay together out of necessity to keep the family together.
Side note, this may hurt the child(ren) involved in the long run because they experience a type of family that is not a real family.
Ladies, whatever your reason is for taking back your ex, ensure it is not a move or decision that you will regret again. As the saying goes, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, well, you know how it goes. You deserve happiness however that happiness looks but, choose wisely.
