Ever seen something happen to a woman and you think, ‘well this is it, she is about to lose it!” Then-nothing!
No, she is not a robot sent from space, but one who is not easily flustered. It is so important as women to own our emotions, be able to express ourselves, and be secure in who we are. The society we live in today tends to feed on the “insecurities” of women. Some businesses in the beauty industry offer products and services that feed off of and profit from a woman’s insecurity. These products usually offer an artificial promise, and women buy into them.
What does it mean to be secure anyway?
Being secure is being confident in who you are and knowing what you do and do not deserve. This woman walks tall, slays dragons (challenges), and is not hesitant in fixing or helping to polish another woman’s crown. If the world had more secure women, we would see less bickering and the “crab in a barrel” debacle that we see so much on reality TV and other media. The plastic surgery industry would probably be bankrupt because we would be confident in our skin and own every flaw instead of trying to fix them. Women would be afforded platforms to be who they are without judgment.
Want To Know How We Can Be More Secure? Here Are Some Ways.
1. Know who you are:
Internally and externally, know who you are! Many women feel insecure because they do not know who they are—the result, they are told who to be through social media, ads, and their peers, who themselves have no clue who they are. If you were to purchase a security camera for your home, you would do the research and ensure the company is reputable, reliable, and able to do its job. And this knowledge increases your confidence in them and who they say they are. Similarly, our confidence comes from having the facts about ourselves, causing us to make sound decisions. So, when others tell us otherwise, we quickly dismiss it.
Maybe take some time and do some soul searching or even actual searching, research your family tree, ancestors, etc and learn more about where you are from. Studies have shown that many bi-racial women experience identity struggles because they have split races and have to fit in certain boxes society has placed them in, but if you are secure in who you are, you will exude confidence in all you do.
2. Know your crowd:
Yup! Insecure people hang with insecure people; secure people hang around the same type of people as themselves. The saying is true: you are who you hang with; if you are around people who do not feed your strengths, you will consistently dwell on your insecurity.
3. Know your shortcomings and self-improve.
A part of being secure is being honest with yourself. Know what you are and are not capable of, and not be afraid to own up to it. Being secure is not attaining a status of perfection but confidence in yourself, even the parts of yourself you know need improvement. Let it not be that people must constantly tell you where you falter. Be so present and self-aware that you can acknowledge and work towards being the best version of yourself. Take the handle of your criticism and turn it into something positive.
4. Know your worth and the worth of others.
The word ‘secure’ means to be sure and unthreatened. Your security comes from knowing your worth and the worth of others, knowing that you do not shine by covering another woman’s light and vice versa. You can only feel threatened when you think others are more valuable than you. The truth is everyone has their unique contribution to this world, and when we all play our part, we can all benefit in the end.
There are no prey and predators in this woman kingdom—we work together to ensure the lions behave, the cubs are taken care of, and the pride survives. Be secure in what you contribute, and know that you are not insignificant, and neither is the woman beside you.
