Normalize the word no.
“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.”
Anna Taylor
If you’re anything like me, you’re guilty of over-commitment, overworking, missed deadlines, inefficient sleep cycles, and just being all-around exhausted. The main culprit I’ve found is my inability to say “no”. I’ve always been taught that “yes” is synonymous with positivity. So whenever I’m asked to do a favor or a task, no matter how swamped I am, I instantly say “yes.” It’s only after the regret has sunk deep that I wish I had said “no”. And hey! I’m not looking for company to feel better about my debilitating habit of people-pleasing, just having a kind of “come to Jesus moment”. Most times I want to cross my arms over my chest to show the world I am unavailable. But of course, some don’t get the signal. As dreadful as it feels, we must say the actual word “No”.
Here Are 5 Reasons Why We Should Normalize The Word No :
1. You don’t want to.
That’s it!
There doesn’t need to be another reason. It doesn’t need to sound more important. You don’t want to, and that’s that. We tend to think that it’s wrong to be selfish. However, in a world where our personal likes, goals, and boundaries seem to come any place after first, being selfish is the absolute best thing to be.
2. You cannot.
We love being superwomen, but unfortunately, we cannot be everywhere and do everything all the time. Time is too scarce to do and be all that we want to try to do and be all they want. A simple, honest “no” keeps us from stretching ourselves thin.
3. It doesn’t align.
If it doesn’t align with your morals, values, and goals, it’s not worth doing or being a part of. Paul Blackburn, in a 2017 article wrote, “If we do things that are not congruent with our values, chances are we’ll achieve a whole lot and never find true, lasting happiness.” (The Global Success Academy). If it doesn’t align, I have no time!
4. It isn’t a priority.
We have pressing demands like family, home, business, and bills that top our priority lists. Evaluate if saying yes will benefit your life. On your list of important things, does this request fit? Putting yourself last should never be a priority. The fact is we cannot prioritize everything. Consider those tasks you are willing and able to complete to avoid feeling overwhelmed. If any additional, unimportant request makes you too swamped, a good “no” will keep the load light.
5. It’s another way to say “yes”.
Simply put, saying no to one thing is essentially saying “yes” to something else. Turning down something gives you more freedom to do what you love, even if it’s doing nothing. Saying “no” is really saying “yes” to what you want, your capabilities, your goals, and your priorities.
Let Us Normalize The Word No, Start Saying It, And Feel Good About Saying It. Let’s Normalize Putting Ourselves First.
That’s Where True Happiness Lies.
SOME ADDITIONAL QUOTES TO HELP NORMALIZE THE WORD NO
“One friend told me her one big takeaway from three years and $11,000 of therapy was “Learn to say no”. And when you do, don’t complain and don’t explain. Every excuse you make is like an invitation to ask you again in a different way.”
― Kelly Corrigan
“Real freedom is saying ‘no’ without giving a reason.”
― Amit Kalantri
“Until you learn how to confidently say NO to so many things, you shall always say YES to so many things. The real summary of a regretful life is a life that failed to balance YES and NO. Yes! A life that failed to recognize when to courageously say NO and when to confidently say YES!”
― Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
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