With independence, financial security, and a resolution to be unapologetically single, you’re just about ready to venture into 2021-by yourself. Frankly, dealing with men nowadays feels like taking a leap into the abyss. The headaches and heartache are reminders of why you must do without them! After all, you can do bad all by yourself. As you prepare to cross the new year threshold, you are clearing your throat and tuning your vocal cords to shout, “Single and Loving it!” But are you?
Before you go bellowing, check out these 5 signs to see if you are really being true to single and loving it.
1. You miss Netflix and Chill!
You constantly think about your ex-partner. Is he happy? Did he find a nice lady after me? What if…? Clinical psychologist, Dr. Joshua Klapow, stated that you may experience feelings of anxiety, angst, uncertainty, and insecurity while getting over a relationship. When you’re trying to forget a specific ex, however, feelings of loss, grief, remorse, guilt, love, and longing will take over. Interestingly, it may not be the ex that you miss but the relationship – the routine you two shared. If you’ve been recently single, take your time to embrace your new status and establish a new routine to form a non-relationship lifestyle. If you’ve been single for a while, re-assess your decision to remain single.
2. You’re so lonely!
Though you enjoy being in your own space, moving on your own time and to your own beat, you just cannot shake the feeling of loneliness that creeps in while you’re tucked in bed. Seeing the empty space beside you gives you an intense desire to instantly fill the void. Even though we often equate being alone with being lonely, the two are not the same. You can be alone and not lonely, however, being single and lonely is a recipe we all have tasted at least once before. It’s the perfect combination for depression, drug abuse, getting back with a toxic ex, or starting a new relationship for the sake of it. One Jonathan Burkett wrote that “single life is the best life until you get hit by lonely nights.” Kindly be reminded that loneliness is a state of mind and so you do not have to stay there. Get out of the house and physically connect with others, pursue hobbies, set and achieve new goals and get to know yourself better. Don’t get stuck in a rut, shake things up a bit. Shake off that feeling of loneliness!
3. You need a knight!
There is that one creepy spider, flying roach, or a typical lizard that you will not get rid of singlehandedly; that bathroom pipe that needs fixing, or… you tell me… Having a partner would solve all these problems. Right? No! Not being able to do certain things for yourself doesn’t mean you need a partner that can. There will always be issues to be fixed. Even if you were not single, could your partner fix every single one of them? Can he always be there to do so? Can anyone else help? Singlehood is a time to face your fears, creatively find solutions and take the initiative to come to your own rescue. Additionally, some men are afraid of lizards! So there.
4. You’re salty!
You boast about being single but you secretly wish your taken friends would shut up about their thriving romantic relationships. Whenever they mention a disagreement with their significant other, you waste no time in lecturing about the wiles of men. You cynically dismiss their stories of true love. Quite frankly, you just don’t see the big deal with everyone getting married- everyone except you. Being single and loving it means that you are at peace with your current status and that of your friend – once you are all content.
5. You’re a daydreamer!
Seeing couples prance about in wonderland drives you to fantasize about having your own partner. You long for the day when you hear sweet nothings from your perfect person; when you get breakfast in bed; when you take long strolls through a rose garden; when this period of singlehood would end. Please wake up and remember why you are currently single and focus on bigger priorities.
Many times we set out on paths then completely forget why we started. We get sidetracked, look behind and even are tempted to take a new path. The path of singlehood is not easily trod. Understandably, not all of us will find the person for us or get married but that doesn’t mean we can’t all try. Singlehood is not for the faint of heart but it is one that is necessary for some of us to find ourselves and our true love. I join with Shirley MacLaine to remind you that “the most profound relationship we’ll ever have is the one with ourselves.” When you get discouraged, please understand there are some places in life where you can only go alone. Embrace the beauty of your solo journey- Single and Loving it!
