Let me go out on a limb and shout to you all, JUST QUIT!

Quitting has been on my mind for quite a while. I am never the one to quit because I learned quitting is for the lazy. I try to hold on to relationships and even remain in WhatsApp groups that have run their course…sigh. I’ve recently quit a network marketing business in which many others are still successful. It took me some time to really make this decision and to feel good about it. Was I giving up too easily? Could I get more success in the long run by staying? Am I happy? Then I also thought about why it was such a big deal to me. Why couldn’t I just decide to quit and move on without any guilt or shame?

You see, we have been socialized into thinking that the act of quitting is negative and must be avoided at all costs even if it means true self-torture – I mean, sacrifice. Quitting is synonymous with failure and weakness. When you do not quit, you receive praise for your commitment and sacrifice as well as the experience you gained.

I’ve always wondered how my mom was able to work at one place for over 35yrs. It could be the Baby Boomer in her – very loyal in the workforce, unlike Millennials who are stereotypically known for job hopping (see our “Are Millennials being set up for Failure” article). If she had quit, she wouldn’t have perfected her craft, received numerous awards, or have a well-decorated resumé. But, what if she had quit? Maybe she would be the owner of a profitable business or travelled the world – instead of traveling to work, to the same room five days per week. Truth is, no one knows, but, I bet your first thought was that she wouldn’t have been as successful.

The act of quitting is only positive when we refer to bad practices such as smoking. They say one will develop grit, stamina, and even success when one sticks to a task, a project, or a process but one can also become bitter, unhappy, and even inauthentic by not quitting. BeyondWoman, do you want to be the “one”?

I was relieved when I saw the following post on our beloved BeyondWoman Magazine’s Instagram page,

“You are sitting at a table starving. Everyone is eating. You are not being served. You will not be served. This is not serving you. Get up. Walk away. Create your own table”

– Adrian McDonald.

This is exactly how I felt. I gave my all but did not have much to show in return as I miserably watched others boast and remind me that I was not doing enough. Besides, I wasn’t even content with the routine tasks. I thought, “I cannot do this for the rest of my life. This is not serving me. At all.”

I was also comforted to find many articles that helped me put my decision in context and understand that I made the right choice for me.

Here are 6 quick facts about quitting.

1. Quitting is for the strong.

Opposed to popular belief – weak people do not quit. Quitting opens you to the unknown – there is only so much information you can have before ultimately deciding to quit. It is usually your gut that informs you– call it woman intuition. It takes courage to quit. There are so many who continue in unfulfilling relationships, jobs, and ambitions and hide behind labels like “successful”, “goals”, and yes, “strong”.

2. Quitting is a scary and risky business.

Quitting is severing ties with something or someone. Whether financial, physical, emotional, or mental ties, they make it scary and risky for us to quit. We would have made investments to create and maintain these ties and so some amount of loss will occur: sunk costs. Consider Tina Turner who disbanded from Ike & Tina Turner in 1976, divorced Ike in 1978, and launched her career as a solo artist in the 1980s. She now has so many accolades that will bring tears to your eyes. Instead of the sunk costs, let us focus on the opportunity cost- for every hour or dollar that you spend on one thing that is not serving you, you’re giving up the opportunity to spend that hour or dollar on something else. That something else for Tina Turner was a record-breaking, Grammy award-winning solo career and an abuse-free life!

3. There is no time period for quitting.

Have you ever been blindsided by a hardworking coworker, the one favored by the bosses and employees who one day randomly announces her resignation? Or maybe you were shook when Cardi B divorced Offset. She explained that she did not wait for another controversy before deciding to leave. There is no time period to quit. You could have started a project 3 years or 3 months ago. It’s okay to quit!

4. Quitting keeps you healthy

Perhaps it is the many stories you’ve heard of Oprah, Walt Disney, Tyler Perry, and your own mother that caused you to hold on to that goal- that unreachable goal. Studies have shown that those who find it hard to walk away from unreachable or unsatisfying goals produce proteins that have been linked to diseases like diabetes. Constant conflict or “let down” increases heart disease and dementia. According to research, quitting something that does not benefit you can make you happier and healthier.

5. Quitting keeps you moving.

Feeling stuck? Then quit! We are ever-evolving. We grow out of ambitions. We learn that we are not the best at everything we decide to pursue. Quitting helps us to discover things we love. Another shocker I discovered was the finding of Economist Henry Siu who stated that young people who switched jobs more often earned higher salaries later in life; as they switch jobs they can demand higher pay. They also try different jobs which add to their skillset and put them in greater demand. This ultimately leads to them discovering their true passion. Vera Wang is one example. We wouldn’t be able to feast our eyes on or fit ourselves into her exquisite dresses if she remained an editor at Vogue or fashion director for Ralph Lauren.

6. Quitting isn’t failure.

Sure failure can lead to quitting but it’s really what happens after you have quit which leads or does not lead to success. YouTube was created as a video-dating website for people to upload videos of themselves talking about their dream partner. After futile efforts of getting persons to do so, the founders adopted a different strategy- opening it up to any video. Voila! Success!

Stop wasting your resources on what isn’t serving you. Stop worrying so much about what you will lose. Embrace the world of opportunity that awaits you. Don’t be afraid to give up something good for something that may be greater.

The takeaway is that one does not simply quit and do nothing afterwards. Quitting is ending something to start something else. It’s redirection. My mother stuck at her job and experienced fulfilment and happiness. Can you truly say the same? What are you refusing to quit to the detriment of your happiness? Trust me, you know what it is. Just QUIT! Thank me later.

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