I cringed last year when the 10-Year Challenge began. This popular challenge also known as the 2009 vs. 2019 Challenge, or the Glow Up Challenge, or the How Hard Did Aging Hit You Challenge had celebrities and average men and women posting a photo of themselves in 2009 next to a photo of themselves in 2019.
I must admit that I did not join this challenge because quite frankly, I just couldn’t bother to search for a younger selfie. But subconsciously, could there be other reasons? Could it be that I did not want to see how much I’ve changed? Could it be that “I feared aging” – the possibility hit me hard, or, could it be that I was already negatively comparing my 2019 self to those who joined the challenge?
In hindsight, this challenge was actually a good one.
In 10 years, many of us had not revisited our old photos. Heck, we had not even remembered our time in 2009 because 10 years went by so fast as we tried to keep up with life. Sigh! The drawback to this challenge was that most persons only compared physical features. I was truly daunted to see that the features of many slightly aged over 10yrs.
I’d like to upgrade this challenge to now surpass the physical, to – how have we changed emotionally and mentally? How have we changed in the many other aspects of our lives? These questions can be unnerving but they are imperative to our growth. We must be willing to look back and be vulnerable and honest with ourselves. The truth hurts but it will not kill you. And you know what they say about what doesn’t kill you. Which leads me to this – we all need a personal retrospective, a powerful technique to assist in the “looking back” process. A personal retrospective calls for us to schedule a recurring appointment with ourselves. It allows us to spend quality time to self-reflect and learn about ourselves in a way that would be otherwise impossible. Our behavioral patterns and our responses to situations become highlighted but only when we confront our truth.
Here are 3 reasons to look back in 2020.
1.To celebrate our wins
The year 2020 has caught all of us by surprise. It was the year many of us anticipated traveling the world, launching our businesses, going back to school. I celebrate all women who committed to their plans during this pandemic and I recognize those who are overwhelmed during these uncertain times. Here’s the thing, taking a look back on past wins will help you to feel better about yourself.
Yes, you may currently be in a rut so remembering your past wins will put things into perspective. What did you overcome to gain those wins? What were the factors that contributed to them? You now realize that you are faced with different factors such as this pandemic and the economic downturn. So don’t be too hard on yourself. Simply remembering positive moments can reverse depression or feelings of being stuck. The longer you remain in a rut, the more difficult it is for the brain to recall positive memories, and the easier it is for you to remain aimless. Memories of past wins should stimulate your desire for new goals. Celebrate and use them as pure motivation to move forward.
2. To acknowledge painful situations
A lot of us walk around with bright smiles and dark wounds. Pretty woman, you cannot heal if you are not willing to acknowledge a painful situation. Situations that may help you to grow and go. In fact, they shaped you into who you are right now. Did they break you so much that your growth was stunted? Did you sweep them under a rug only to stumble over them later? Nine times out of ten, your answer is a dreadful yes.Â
The acknowledgement of painful situations allows you to assess your response to them. You may have played victim or even pretended nothing ever hurts you or gets you down. Break those patterns and quit the pretense. Revisit the situation(s), cry if you must, wipe your tears, fix your makeup, straighten your crown and cancel the pity party. Seek professional guidance and move forward with confidence. Those situations can be one of two things: a rope to hold you back or a catapult to launch you into greatness. You choose!
3. To improve your focus
You must find time to step away from the ups and downs in your own life. If you’re not careful, you will become distracted and adrift. Looking back reminds you why you’re headed, where you’re headed. You gain an insight to the distance you’ve already covered. You may delight yourself and sing along to “Where I’m Coming From” by Lila Iké, because looking back on where the journey began proves that you are strong.
Looking back takes you right to where it all started. Why were you excited about starting that business? What did you feel after satisfying your first out of one thousand customers? What made you say yes to embarking on that journey? Focus is direction and balance. Indeed, identifying your failures and celebrating your victories give you balance and direction. You develop from failures and your victories build impetus. Your strengths, weaknesses and areas for improvement will be revealed. Strong woman, you have made it very far but you have further to go. Tighten your blinders and hold your focus forward using your improved self and impetus to charter your path ahead.
So now, I dare you to redo the 10-Year Challenge! While looking at your side by side photos, make some notes in that old journal of yours. Look back to celebrate your wins, acknowledge painful situations and improve your focus. Look back without the intention to dwell in your past but to be reminded of the changes you have permitted or delayed. And next time, do not wait for 10 years to pass before you conduct a personal retrospective.
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