FEAR FACTOR- Women’s Favorite Fears.
I’ll give you 5 seconds to name the greatest destruction to man- or should I say, women? Time’s up! If you did not say FEAR, you are incorrect! It may seem as if I am exaggerating but I really mean it. On top of causing sweaty palms and hyperventilation, fear cripples our intentions of thriving. As if we don’t already have much to deal with, it is always showing up at the top of our lists.
Women fear many things- from the shady guy across the table giving us that eerie stare to the humongous roach that just flew in through our bedroom window and landed on our television screen.
But what is fear?
Fear is a basic human emotion wired into our nervous system. It causes us to prepare for fight or flight. Fear has been around from the beginning of civilization so don’t feel too bummed out by having to grapple with it. According to Dash Subba, in his 2014 book “Philosophy of Fearism: Life is Conducted, Directed and Controlled by Fear”, we are entangled with fear all around. He explained that when we know about fear, we apply all techniques and ideas to get rid of such fear.
We would have identified the problem and acquired knowledge to come to a solution. He further stated that “nothing is possible in the absence of fear“. I’m afraid Subba is right!
Interestingly, fearing failure can make you perform well-to avoid failure, but it can also prevent you from doing well if the fear is too strong.
Whichever fear we have, we can get rid of it or learn to co-exist with it. How? Of course, there is no one solution for all, but let us look at 4 fears we women love to hold on to and possible solutions for each.
1. Fear Of Success:
I must admit that I have identified this as one of my top fears. We think every one wants success, but, are we all ready to take what it comes with? With success comes hard-work, popularity and accountability. I want to do what I want, when I want and not get reprimanded for it. How old am I again? Old enough to pull up my big girl panties and stop whining.
Success is ongoing and as such, the work must continue. Success may mean you are now in the public’s eye. Make their view worthwhile as you show them how it’s done. Moving to higher levels never meant it will get easier. It simply means you now have more tools to go there. Move up!
2. Fear Of Being Judged:
This keeps us from being vulnerable. It’s way more than putting on our best foundation to hide our dark spots. No one ever knows the real us. Why so? We expect to be attacked. Adam Smith, in his book, “The Bravest You: 5 Steps to Fight Your Biggest Fears, Find Your Passion and Unlock Your Extraordinary Life,” shared that we must embrace our personal story which makes us unique and share it to our community. I say it is better to be judged for who and what we truly are. Live up!
3. Fear Of Losing Control
From sending your infant to preschool to kissing your significant other goodbye as he heads to work; to watching the skies in fear that it will rain because you have just hung 3 lines of clothes, you are afraid of losing control. Most women are organizers who enjoy being in control. We do it so effortlessly.
We pick out clothes for our kids and even our men, we decide the week’s menu and we set the household schedule. But life has this thing where it often kicks us off balance and suddenly we are treading water. And even when things are smooth sailing, it is fantasy to always be in control. We must be realistic and handle what we can. And let’s not be too hard on ourselves. Loosen up!
4. Fear of inadequacy
I’m not sexy enough! Not intelligent enough! She is more entitled than I am. Truth is, we are never enough. There is always room for growth. This fear keeps us in constant comparison with what is in front of us and in our minds. And we may be very correct but should we belittle ourselves and stay there? There are too many opportunities for self development for us to cower in self pity. Chin up!
Face your fears. Is it an irrational fear? Can it be overcome? The avoidance of fear is really what cripples us as it hinders us from doing what we need or even want to do. Know yourself. What are your triggers? How does this fear affect you? What have you put in place to deal with it? Can exercise, diet change, change of environment, therapy help?
Faith, maybe.
The scriptures have so much encouragement for those who fear. They remind us that we are not our own and we have supernatural help. Always remember 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
FACE YOUR FEARS | KNOW YOURSELF | EXERCISE YOUR FAITH.
