10 Characteristics of a GOOD friend (according to the bible).

The other 5.

“Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It’s not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.” – Muhammad Ali

A friend COMPLIMENTS you not COMPETES with you.

Competition is a word we hear often among women. It is one of the things that cause a lot of strife and division in any woman circle. We all have had that secretly jealous friend who always had to do something better, bigger or extra to shine a little bit more. That friend that will put their names into the conversation and overshadow your achievements with theirs. This is a red flag. That is not your friend hun.

A friend compliments you, they work together with you to achieve your goals and vice versa. Do you have a business launch? They are the planners. Do you have a soup kitchen? They are the sharers. Friends that support you are friends that will propel you to achieve your greatest potential.
Phil 2:3-4 “Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”

A friend is SECURE in who you are and in your friendship.

If you have a friend that is always questioning your friendship and your relationships with others, you might be dealing with an insecure foe. In any relationship security is important. Having an insecure relationship produces the spirit of suspicion, assumption, and accusations. This will lead to breaking down someone’s character and causing them to walk on eggshells, making things constantly uncomfortable.

Your friend should feel secure enough not to worry when you make friends outside of them or when you do things that don’t include them. Or even if you have accomplished a few things before them such as earning more, driving a nicer car or even if you are in a romantic relationship and they are not. If your friend is constantly bringing you down and feels bad when you achieve something, that is not a friend.

1 Sam.18:7-9 “And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousand. And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said; They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me, they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom? And Saul eyed David from that day and forward.”
Get rid of the Saul’s in your life – friends who are insecure and always needing to be approved. This may lead to jealousy and they can kill you for what you have or kill what you have to make themselves feel better.

A friend is SELFLESS and not SELFISH

John 15:13 “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” A friend is more concerned about your well being at times than their own. They go the extra mile for you so you can be happy after a tough day or feel good after a stressful or traumatic event. Your woman circle should hold your hand through some of life’s greatest obstacles and are the cheerleaders on the sidelines for every event and game that you are involved in.

If your friend is always absent and always has an excuse not to be there for you, that’s not a friend. Jesus laid down his life for our friendship; He gave up himself so we would go on. And while I’m not encouraging anyone to give up their lives, you need to be there for a friend when they need you, or make every effort to be.

A friend is an IRON

Prov. 27:17 “ Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” A friend will improve your life. If someone is contributing nothing and taking everything, they are not a friend. A friend adds to your life in whatever area or capacity. It may be as an advisor when you have major decisions to make, a listener when you have to vent, or even an investor in some of your visions. So there must be sharpening, an improvement that is made in both your lives through this friendship.

Different types of relationships exist within an ecosystem which is parallel to friendships. There is mutualism which is when both parties benefit from their connection. Commensalism which is where one party benefits and the other doesn’t; and parasitism where one organism benefits while the other suffers through their relationship. What type of friendship are you in?

A friend is FORGIVING

Eph. 4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” In any relationship fall out will happen, people will have differences. No matter how much you love someone there will be days that you won’t like them at all. That doesn’t mean that you should throw out the baby with the bathwater so speak. It’s important that being a good friend means also exercising forgiveness.

I want to add that even though you forgive someone, sometimes the friendship itself may be beyond repair and in that case, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to reconnect to the person. In cases where you may fall out or have a difference in opinion and the friendship is salvageable, forgiveness should be exercised. The bible tells us how we should act in friendship-forgiving as Christ forgives us. Understand that as human beings we will falter, we will make mistakes, we will bump heads but through it all, we must never become bitter.

I hope these characteristics helped you in deciphering who a friend is; and has caused you to evaluate your sister/woman circle a bit more. Like any relationship, friendship is hard work and good friendship is even harder work; when you discover and connect with true friends it is one of the most beautiful and fulfilling things in life.

Written by TBW Inspirational Writer Candicia Pryce : Follow her on IG at christlyinspirations.

Did you read Part 1? If not read here

Read Part 3 here