By Donna Hunter
For years I have been trying to learn how to swim. To date I am no good at swimming. My first instructor, Dionne, who is an excellent swimming instructor tried her hardest for an entire summer to no avail. At the end when I should be celebrating I was barely able to tread water and was still clutching to the side of the pool. I feared drowning!
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will”~ Suzy Kassem
I realised that my kids were heading in the same direction and bound to be non-swimmers, until I decided that I wouldn’t allow them to give up. One Saturday afternoon while watching my son and his swim coach converse I noticed something different about his body language and his attitude. He was not just having conversation he was listening keenly before he
responded and then refocused before giving it a try. Before he dove into the pool once more he adjusted his entire body shifting his weight from side to side. He then adjusted his feet, took a deep breath and dove in. I was extremely amazed!
“Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom” ~ Marilyn Ferguson
On our way home I asked him how he managed to swim the entire length of the 50 metre pool without panicking this time around. My son said “Mom when you fear something you already fail at any attempt you will make even before you start. Mom I feared the deep end of the pool so whenever I swam I would stay alert and stop swimming before I reached the deep
end. This messed up my entire concentration as I am more focused on my fear of the deep end than getting my strokes and kicks in line. The minute I decided to conquer the fear I made it without stopping.” I CAN!
“Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind” ~ Dale Carnegie
The process of overcoming the fear of failure is a challenging task for everyone. Fortunately, all fears are learned therefore it can be unlearned through self-discipline repeatedly until it goes. The natural tendency for most of us is to exist in a state of denial about our fear. In turn, it becomes a major source of stress, unhappiness, and can lead to depression. While there are several types of fear that people experience, the most common is the fear of failure which separates us from success. Ever so often, fear causes people to avoid risk of any kind and to reject opportunity when it is presented to them because they are afraid of failure. They then become almost paralyzed at the thought of taking any chance at all.
There are other fears that restrict us from claiming success. For example People fear:
- Loss of acceptance from their social
groups - Embarrassment due to personal choice
- Loss of jobs and financial security
- Loss of love
- Loss of respect
These and many others hold us back throughout our entire lives and if we do not find ways to get past these fears we will never be able to live a fulfilling life.
“Do one thing every day that scares you” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Here are some steps you can use to help you overcome fear
Awareness
Make a list of your fears! This may sound cliché as every time we try to get something done these day we are told to create a list. OKAY. Create a list then what? By creating this list you have begun the process of acceptance of fear and stepping away from the denial.
Become an observer of your inner space.
To develop a new habit you require a minimum of 30 days of consistent effort. Overcoming fear will vary with each person. However the key component is consistency. Jot down specific information about what you are afraid of. Process mental pictures you have in your head about the situation, thing or task. What do you see happening in them? What are you
really scared of? Why are you so afraid? Is this fear an obstacle that is preventing you from living your best life? What is the best approach to dealing with this fear? Many of us fear things, people and situations that should not have huge impacts on our lives. Instead, we should focus on what is important to us not to others. Become an observer of your inner
space.
Face your Fear Head on
There are many things to accomplish as you work towards your goals. Do not allow fear to make you unhappy for one more minute. Confront the existing situation or person, put the fear behind you and move on. Your ability to confront and deal with the situation or task despite your fears are one of the most effective ways to overcoming fear and reaping happiness and success.
The Sedona Method.
The Sedona Method is a unique, simple, powerful, easy-to-learn and duplicate technique that shows you how to uncover your natural ability to let go of any painful or unwanted feeling in the moment. What makes the Sedona Method a powerful tool is that it is a process you can use any time, any place, to improve any area of your life. It consists of asking a few simple questions while focusing on your fear.
Gratitude.
Whenever you feel fear, switch to feeling grateful. If you’re afraid of public speaking, be grateful for the opportunity to communicate with so many people, and that they are there to genuinely listen to what you have to say.
Face Everything And Rise
“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live” ~ Dorothy Thompson
